So, you are thinking of becoming a Jehovah's Witness?

Boy are you dedicated!

Boy are you in for a wild ride!

Besides the non-biblical theology of the door-knocking JW's, the package of man-made rules you will face as a member of the the Watchtower Society is not only tough, but bizarre.

Check 'em out!

1. You cannot celebrate holidays such as Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, Father's Day, or any other national holiday.

2. You must not take an oath of allegiance to your country, join the military, vote, or support any political party.

3. You can, if you wish, collect unemployment or welfare benefits. This is encouraged because you will have more time to go door-to-door with their Society's magazines.

4. You cannot celebrate birthdays.

5. You cannot clink glasses together.

6. You must not throw rice or confetti at weddings.

7. Large gatherings are frowned upon by the Watchtower Society unless organized by them for Bible studies. (Usually the Bible is not used much; their other books are claimed to be "better" to learn from.)

8. You must not associate socially with anyone not a Witness except to conduct a Bible (book) study.

9. Your children must not associate with other children unless they are Witnesses.

10. Your children cannot join organizations such as the Boy Scouts, Girl Guides, Red Cross, S.P.C.A., Boys or Girls clubs, or team sports at school or elsewhere. Their time is considered better spent distributing the Society's magazines and books.

11. Adults may not join groups such as the volunteer fire brigade, the YMCA, or service club, etc., in order to avoid "worldly associations."

12. A minimum of 10 hours a month is encouraged for door-to-door soliciting of funds for the Society's books and magazines. Monthly reports must be filled in. (Apparently, Jehovah God will consult these to see if you are worthy to survive Armageddon.)

13. On public holidays you must attend meetings and sell literature where possible.

14. You must not read any literature published by Christian churches or any other religious organization. These are taught as being from Satan.

15. You must not acknowledge the Cross as a Christian symbol. It is considered to be of pagan origin.

16. Jehovah's Witness provides no Sunday School for your children. You must provide four hours per month studying the Watchtower Society's publications with them.

17. You must take off from your job to attend all Watchtower conventions, held three times a year. Absence is frowned upon.

18. There are certain rules of conduct to follow in your bedroom. You may check with your elders for details. If you disobey you may be disfellowshipped (expelled).

19. Certain forms of birth control are unacceptable. Your decision is not considered. You must check with the elders first.

20. Beards are frowned upon as they reflect a rebellious and independent attitude. Moustaches are okay.

21. If your family members are not JW's, you must have nothing to do with them. If any have been expelled, have NOTHING to do with them or you may be shunned yourself.

22. Make sure all your magazine and book studies are done and underlined each week.

23. All meetings must be attended. There are five meetings per week, on three different days. If you miss, you must have a good reason. Sickness is not always a good reason.

24. You must view all people who are not JW's as "worldly" and part of Satan's organization. They will all perish at Armageddon. Only JW's will be saved, so why bother associating with them?

25. If you ever choose to leave the Jehovah's Witness organization, all your JW "friends" will shun you, even if you have not been "disfellowshipped". You will also get frequent phone calls of "encouragement" which you may find harassing.

26. If you ever attend a Christian church for ANY reason (including family weddings, funerals, etc.), you will be disfellowshipped.

27. You must never disagree with the Society or it will be said that you are disagreeing with God, because the Watchtower Society claims to be the ONLY organization on earth that has been chosen by Him to guide his people.

28. You will not have the free choice of conscience. You give up that right when you become a Witness. The Society will make almost all decisions for you.

29. You will be forbidden to give or take blood transfusions or blood products. You must not even store your own blood for a transfusion as it is said this belongs to God. If your child requires a transfusion, it is your duty to try to prevent the doctors from transfusing the child even if it means stealing the child from the hospital and letting the child die.

30. Unless you are one of the 144,000 who are the only ones who may go to Heaven, you are not to partake of the bread and wine during communion.

31. All the above rules are subject to change without notice and without recourse. Be in constant expectation of "New Light" which could reverse everything.

32. If you disobey any of the above rules and refuse to turn from your rebellious course, you will be disfellowshipped, and an announcement will be made to the whole congregation. All members worldwide will shun you, even family members, so expect no invitations to family weddings, funerals, or reunions, etc.

33. If you wish to be reinstated, you must do as the elders tell you—attend all meetings, coming in after the opening song and prayer, sitting at the back of the hall, talk to no one, have no participation, leave before the final song and prayer, and have no contact with other members. Until reinstated, you will have no part in field ministry. Depending upon your offense, the time of punishment may last up to a year or more.

34. You must not pray for disfellowshipped ones. They are dead in God's eyes.

35. The JW's reject Jesus Christ as being the Son of God through whom we are saved.