So, you are thinking of becoming a Jehovah's
Boy are you dedicated!
Boy are you in for a wild ride!
Besides the non-biblical theology of the
door-knocking JW's, the package of man-made rules you will face as a member of
the the Watchtower Society is not only tough, but bizarre.
Check 'em out!
1. You cannot celebrate holidays such as
Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, Father's Day, or any other
2. You must not take an oath of allegiance to
your country, join the military, vote, or support any political party.
3. You can, if you wish, collect unemployment
or welfare benefits. This is encouraged because you will have more time to go
door-to-door with their Society's magazines.
4. You cannot celebrate birthdays.
5. You cannot clink glasses together.
6. You must not throw rice or confetti at
7. Large gatherings are frowned upon by the
Watchtower Society unless organized by them for Bible studies. (Usually the
Bible is not used much; their other books are claimed to be "better"
to learn from.)
8. You must not associate socially with anyone
not a Witness except to conduct a Bible (book) study.
9. Your children must not associate with other
children unless they are Witnesses.
10. Your children cannot join organizations
such as the Boy Scouts, Girl Guides, Red Cross, S.P.C.A., Boys or Girls clubs,
or team sports at school or elsewhere. Their time is considered better spent
distributing the Society's magazines and books.
11. Adults may not join groups such as the
volunteer fire brigade, the YMCA, or service club, etc., in order to avoid
12. A minimum of 10 hours a month is
encouraged for door-to-door soliciting of funds for the Society's books and
magazines. Monthly reports must be filled in. (Apparently, Jehovah God will
consult these to see if you are worthy to survive Armageddon.)
13. On public holidays you must attend
meetings and sell literature where possible.
14. You must not read any literature published
by Christian churches or any other religious organization. These are taught as
being from Satan.
15. You must not acknowledge the Cross as a
Christian symbol. It is considered to be of pagan origin.
16. Jehovah's Witness provides no Sunday
School for your children. You must provide four hours per month studying the
Watchtower Society's publications with them.
17. You must take off from your job to attend
all Watchtower conventions, held three times a year. Absence is frowned upon.
18. There are certain rules of conduct to
follow in your bedroom. You may check with your elders for details. If you
disobey you may be disfellowshipped (expelled).
19. Certain forms of birth control are
unacceptable. Your decision is not considered. You must check with the elders
20. Beards are frowned upon as they reflect a
rebellious and independent attitude. Moustaches are okay.
21. If your family members are not JW's, you
must have nothing to do with them. If any have been expelled, have NOTHING to do
with them or you may be shunned yourself.
22. Make sure all your magazine and book
studies are done and underlined each week.
23. All meetings must be attended. There are
five meetings per week, on three different days. If you miss, you must have a
good reason. Sickness is not always a good reason.
24. You must view all people who are not JW's
as "worldly" and part of Satan's organization. They will all perish
at Armageddon. Only JW's will be saved, so why bother associating with them?
25. If you ever choose to leave the Jehovah's
Witness organization, all your JW "friends" will shun you, even if
you have not been "disfellowshipped". You will also get frequent
phone calls of "encouragement" which you may find harassing.
26. If you ever attend a Christian church for
ANY reason (including family weddings, funerals, etc.), you will be
27. You must never disagree with the Society
or it will be said that you are disagreeing with God, because the Watchtower
Society claims to be the ONLY organization on earth that has been chosen by Him
to guide his people.
28. You will not have the free choice of
conscience. You give up that right when you become a Witness. The Society will
make almost all decisions for you.
29. You will be forbidden to give or take
blood transfusions or blood products. You must not even store your own blood
for a transfusion as it is said this belongs to God. If your child requires a
transfusion, it is your duty to try to prevent the doctors from transfusing the
child even if it means stealing the child from the hospital and letting the
30. Unless you are one of the 144,000 who are
the only ones who may go to Heaven, you are not to partake of the bread and
wine during communion.
31. All the above rules are subject to change
without notice and without recourse. Be in constant expectation of "New
Light" which could reverse everything.
32. If you disobey any of the above rules and
refuse to turn from your rebellious course, you will be disfellowshipped, and
an announcement will be made to the whole congregation. All members worldwide
will shun you, even family members, so expect no invitations to family
weddings, funerals, or reunions, etc.
33. If you wish to be reinstated, you must do
as the elders tell you—attend all meetings, coming in after the opening
song and prayer, sitting at the back of the hall, talk to no one, have no
participation, leave before the final song and prayer, and have no contact with
other members. Until reinstated, you will have no part in field ministry.
Depending upon your offense, the time of punishment may last up to a year or
34. You must not pray for disfellowshipped
ones. They are dead in God's eyes.
35. The JW's reject Jesus Christ as being the
Son of God through whom we are saved.